


Xander/Anya Drabbles

by dreamsofspike



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofspike/pseuds/dreamsofspike
Summary: A collection of my drabbles for the pairing Xander/Anya from BtVS.





	1. Dirty Dancing

"Come _on_! You don't want us to be humiliated at our wedding, do you?"  
  
"I have a feeling that humiliation is going to be a part of it, regardless of how good I might get at ballroom dancing -- maybe _because_ of it, knowing my family..."  
  
"It's tradition. I read it in that wedding book Tara gave me. And aren't gifts for the bride supposed to make her _happy_ , not stress her out beyond belief? I really need to have a talk with Tara..."  
  
"Anya, just 'cause it's tradition..."  
  
"Tradition is very important to my people, Xander. You know that. And I want our human guests to think I'm the perfect human bride. Therefore, we must learn this dance in exactly twenty days -- and we only have two lessons left!"  
  
"I'm not sure _twenty_ lessons would be enough."  
  
"*SIGH* What if I offer you some incentive?"  
  
"*GASP* _Anya_!"  
  
"And your friends think _I'm_ sex-crazed. It's all you men ever think about... So do we have a deal, then?"  
  
"Uh... y-yeah. W-whatever you want..."  
  
"I knew that would work. I'm very pleased with myself."  
  
"W-wait... don't _stop_..."  
  
"Dancing first... sex later."


	2. One Week

It's insanity.  
  
That's the only explanation he can come up with.  
  
All he did was _not_ be particularly rude to the pretty waitress who served their food. He smiled -- as people do -- and thanked her when she refilled their drinks, and pretty much just treated her like a human being.  
  
Apparently, his ex-demon fiancee felt that she was the only current human deserving of being treated like one -- at least by him.  
  
And when he left a fair 18% tip for the girl, well -- that was an affront against both Anya _and_ her beloved money, and therefore nigh unforgivable.  
  
"You like her so much, go ask _her_ for orgasms!" Anya had hotly declared as she stormed off toward the car.  
  
The moment he climbed behind the wheel, Xander let out a startled yelp as he found himself suddenly accosted by 120 pounds of angry, passionate, determined, and incredibly sexy ex-demon.  
  
"My orgasms are better than hers," she whispered in his ear between kisses. "I'll _prove_ it..."  
  
It's insanity.  
  
And it's the particular brand of insanity in which he's chosen to spend the rest of his life.  
  
Xander couldn't be happier.


	3. Surprise

"Anya? What are you doing? I'm starting to get a little restless over here... and... um... nervous... and my nose itches..."  
  
"Oh, quit being such a big baby. I'll be ready in just a minute. I told you -- I've got a surprise for you."  
  
"Yeah. That's what scares me."  
  
"Please. You know you like kinky sex as much as I do."  
  
"Point one -- that's still up for debate. And Point B -- I think our definitions of kinky might be a little different. I've slept with one other woman in the entirety of my not-overly-long life -- and granted, she was a psychotic Slayer who tried about four different brand new kinks at once at the time -- but I'm still not sure that compares with a thousand years of experience in torturing men."  
  
"Xander, you know torture was my _job_. The last thing I want to do is bring work into the bedroom."  
  
"Okay, okay, just... hurry it..."  
  
*various crashes, bangs, thuds, snarls, and screaming*  
  
"Anya? _Anya!_ What's going on? Are you okay?"  
  
*more strange and dubious sounds, ending in several rhythmic thuds... then silence*  
  
"Anya?"  
  
*breathless* "It's okay. It's dead."  
  
"What was it?"  
  
"Demon. I killed it."  
  
"Um... okay? That was... random."  
  
"Yeah." *pause* "And... that _wasn't_ your surprise, by the way."  
  
*sigh* "I probably should find that more reassuring than i actually do."


End file.
